🎀 notes 🎀
august 2..🌷
new update after a long time workin on it!🩹feeling : happy!!
🧸thinking : about the new style of my website ♡
📚doing : organizing my studies..!
july 24.. dear diary 🖋 my purchases arrived!! actually, it’s been a little while.. during this time, besides other purchases that also arrived, i was focused on changes to my site and ended up not wanting to write here.. 🧸 here are some of the purchases i made! 👜this eyeshadow is super delicate, and the dark colors are not very pigmented. i loved it because i like light and subtle makeup.. 🎗
i bought this eye pencil because i like to apply it in the inner corner of my eye; it suits me a lot! 🐑
i loved this lip gloss, it’s perfect! it smells great! i’m loving it 💝
i was in need of a stand for my headset and my phone! this bunny stand has been extremely useful to me! besides being super cute ♡ other things arrived as well, but i prefer to show just these! a few months ago i started wearing my hair natural again!! i have loved my waves since 2020 (when i discovered that my hair is wavy), but since last year and the beginning of this year, i was straightening it for no reasons! i love it so much not only because it's my hair, but also because since i was a child i've always thought this type of hair is very beautiful. when i found out that mine was wavy, i was extremely happy and fulfilled. my history with my hair is quite confusing (when i was a baby my hair was extremely straight and then it turned into total chaos). in 2020 i started studying more about hair types and finally discovered my hair type.. my world became so much clearer and everything made sense ♡ anyway, i recently went back to taking care of it naturally and i am delighted every time i look in the mirror and see my little waves just the way i like them ♡♡ and for end.. i'm a little sad. 🌧 recently, i found out that someone who followed me on all of my few profiles (she was the only one following me on all of them) blatantly copied the 'about me' section from my site to her profile on a site called 'spacehey'. she only changed the names and dates. she didn't add anything about herself or remove anything about me; she just copied and pasted my text.. a text that i created to describe me. this makes me so sad, angry, and disgusted. what’s so hard about describing yourself? i understand it's more difficult, but copying someone else's 'about me'?? i understand that people have things in common and that’s great, but each person is unique and that’s what makes us special! to me, it doesn’t make sense and it left me feeling very sick. i deleted/blocked her from my accounts because i value my mental health and i would feel bad every time i saw her in my stuff! i also hope she learns to be more original when creating texts, or at least makes an effort to personalize and adapt things to reflect her own voice and style.. anyway, it’s the internet, right? people do that and don’t feel bad at all.. that's all for today, diary! i'll be back soon.. with love, me 🌼
june 01.. dear diary 🖋 the days have been a little more anxious than usual.. i did some online shopping and i'm very excited! i can't wait to have them with me ♡ my new desk arrived! i'm sooo happy!!! i've needed one for a long time, and now i have space for my things 💐 last week, the cold weather arrived, bringing rain and chilly winds with it! but in the last few days, the sun has been appearing.. a gentle and comforting sun. 🤍 i'm making changes to my website! (again!) i'm excited and proud to be taking my time with it. since it's my own project, i don't have to rush—I can take as long as i want and make as many alterations i want! however, not everything is perfect. a week ago, i lost all the work i had done ૮っ˕ - 𑁬 there was some issue with vscode, and it really shook me. despite that, i already knew what i wanted and how i wanted it, so redo it wasn't too difficult at least it was a learning experience; now i know i need to be careful and keep everything organized to avoid such problems. i'm trying to improve some personal issues, i'm not so satisfied with some things i do/have been doing, especially when it comes to the people who are important to me.. for them and for me i want to improve and be a better person. i'll study and put in the effort to improve! 🌷🧸 i've changed rooms! well, it's been a while, and even though the idea wasn't originally mine, i don't mind. the size difference is almost imperceptible, and this new room is brighter than my old one. i love it when my room shines.. i added white curtains, and all my furniture is white, so i'm living in a cozy little cloud 🌧 however, there's one wall in a light brown shade that doesn't quite match my style. i'm waiting for the right moment to paint it white and maybe later a very light pink! 🛏 anyway, that's all for today. 💕 i'll be back to show you my purchases when they arrive! 🎗 march 09.. dear diary 🖋 i finally made the change i wanted so much in my safe room!! ♡ at first, no idea came to my mind and i wasn't even forcing myself to think, the idea of using my room from "my fluffy life" as a background for the floating elements just came to my mind, since the game is super cute and brings me comfort ♡ it was a somewhat tiring experience because i was so anxious that i couldn't think or focus on anything else! i dedicated 3 days to this little project and it lasted that long because i had other ideas that didn't work out. i wanted to do something more detailed on the pages, but that was starting to wear me out a lot and i'd be lying if i said that in these 3 days i didn't wear myself out, but it would be much more complicated to do what i was trying to do.. i'm super happy and satisfied with the result! and this part of the diary is the one i liked the most! i loved making this collage on the side and loved seeing the final result of what used to be just the png of a book ♡ i also loved the floating elements, it made everything so cozy! i want to add more things, but not now! and this time i'm going to take it easy so the same thing doesn't happen as happened before .. i wanted to write earlier, but i hate thinking about what to write, i like it when the words come naturally as something i want to share here 💝 also i will change from "hi" to "dear diary", after all, that's what it is! 💻 for now, that's it.. with love, me 🤍february 9.. hi! 🩰 i moved almost two weeks ago. it was a very tiring and extremely stressful day, and to make matters worse, on the same day i caught a cold and woke up the next day feeling very bad. it wasn't a good start in the new house.. the first week was very strange and i believe it's normal. not feeling at home was and is the most present feeling in the last few days. i know this change was inevitable and as i had already written here in the last entry, i was extremely prepared in terms of prior organization. however, being prepared and knowing what i would go through is not synonymous with dealing with ease..! with time it passes and i understand that this change was necessary and must have a purpose. going back to moving day, it seemed like it wasn't happening, you know? i didn't feel in my body and i was doing everything automatically, picking the boxes and helping as much as i could while melting in that painful heat.. as for my cat's adaptation, it was as i imagined. he stayed in a hidden corner and meowed a lot at night. i'll be lying if i write that the sleepless nights were easy (one of the reasons that made my adaptation very difficult), it was hard to find strength to deal with both things (my adaptation and his), but i managed and he is getting familiar little by little and i will always be by his side protecting and taking care of him.♡ in the first few days, we were without internet so i was using my phone internet. i spent most of my time watching dramas! it was a very relaxing experience because it helped me distract my mind a lot and comforted me a lot! the wi-fi has been installed and everything is fine, i'm using my computer again and i'm studying other things again while college classes don't come back. but that's where the "problem" comes in. my routine in my "old life" was perfect!! i was following a little routine that was doing me very well and it was great! but unfortunately now it seems like everything is a mess and i hate it! i need to have at least a list or something planned to do during the day.. i understand that there's nothing wrong with taking a break in my "productive routine", but i know myself and i feel very messy if i don't plan my schedules and daily duties.. i can't have control every day and unexpected things happen, but it's something i really need to do to feel lighter (it's like carrying a weight of disorganization)..! now, to unwind: i made my first sewing project!!! i made a wrist rest while still living in the old house! my wrists were getting sore and red because of the computer table. i could buy one, but i wanted to have the experience of make something new.. it was so therapeutic..♡ the only thing that was a little difficult to handle was the pillow foam!still on this sewing subject, my grandmother gave me a fabric to try to make a pillow ♡ anyway, i want to make some changes here in terms of appearance, but i still don't know what or how i want. i won't burn my brain thinking about it, maybe the idea will come out of nowhere! now, i want to take care of myself, do things that make me feel happy, that comfort me and distract me! hard times are normal and they'll pass soon.. everything will be okay! with love, me 💗
january 14.. hi!! happy new year! 🧸 2023 was a good year in terms of my mental well-being and self-discovery. completely leaving social media was something i always wanted but never could, and finally in 2023 i paid attention to what my heart wanted and did it. i think i will never tire of writing and saying how good it is and how much my anxiety decreased after deactivating/deleting my accounts on twitter and instagram! facebook i only mentioned on the homepage because it's one of the social networks that some people use, but in reality, i haven't used it since 2019 and didn't even remember it existed until some time ago.. as for self-discovery, it was an incredible experience to discover little things i like and for the first time feel excitement for something that i never thought would fascinate me so much! but what am i talking about after all? 💻 well, i'm talking about this, about how incredible it is! writing in code and seeing the result, spending hours creating a layout, planning what i'm going to write and how to write. even the simplest things in these programming languages fascinate me! it all started a few years ago when i discovered "carrd.co" and found the carrds i saw from other people super cute, so i started watching videos and understanding how it worked. and so i improved and learned new tricks. but then, i started to want something bigger, and unfortunately, the free version of carrd has a limit, and i couldn't afford a better version, so i was content with what i could, and even limited, i loved updating my layouts, changing the appearance, etc. it was fun, i got distracted and super excited when i finished and saw the final result! but as i said, i started to want to do more little things, i wanted to have a safe place just for me that other people could see and find minimally cozy and cute.. i don't remember well how i got to know programming languages (html and css initially), but i remember that one of the people was my cousin! i talked to him about it and asked some simple questions. i looked at his computer screen and didn't understand anything at all, it's such a cute and funny memory..! i remember the first time (i don't recall if it was at the end of 2022 or the beginning of 2023) i saw a simple and short tutorial on how to make a very simple table in html, i was so happy that i quickly showed my mom what i had managed to do! i can't explain, but i always get so silly when i see the results..! anyway, i have a very confusing memory, but it was around the same time that i found the template middlepot provides on her website, and my eyes lit up to know that i could possibly have something more than carrd! but despite having the foundation and a tutorial, i didn't know where i could use it. i didn't know any site that allowed me to create a site from scratch.. but after searching and going after it so much, wanting this virtual little space so much, i found it!! i know it may seem silly, but it was one of the best days of 2023! finding neocities was an important step for my little silly dream.. and well, i used the foundation i had and started creating my little space! hours on the computer doing layouts, not liking some and loving others, and getting extremely happy and silly when i saw my site taking shape! obviously, it's not something completely smooth because i'm still learning, but it's already the realization of something i wanted for a long time, and that makes me extremely happy! i love this space, and i love writing and recording things here.. i love it, and i want to learn more ♡ i know that, like anything else, it has its difficult parts and will probably give me a headache when i'm learning, but i finally know what i want to do, and i'm motivated to improve more and more! ♡ my year started reasonably well! the days after my last entry in the diary were filled with affectionate thoughts, carefully laid plans, and the sweet organization of my new year! i planned (almost) everything for the change and for my personal and professional development! i'm motivated when it comes to studies! i have future plans, and since i'm not very happy about moving houses and states, i want to focus on myself and on my relationship with my boyfriend! 💘 i'm trying not to think too negatively about the change, trying every day to see the positive side and how my parents need this and that their reasons are more than understandable! i've been trying to think about how a new house can be nice, a new room for me to decorate! but i'm also extremely worried about my cat.. if he will adapt to the new house (he grew up in the old house), if he will handle the long car trip and travel crate well.. if my brother will take good care of him during the trip.. i worry so much that i end up not trusting others to take care of him, feeling insecure that they won't have the same care i would. but i won't be able to go in my brother's place because of other details, and that makes me anxious, but i know he is super careful with animals and will certainly give my baby the attention and care he deserves ♡ 🏠 these last few days have been filled with a lot of planning and organization. i want to prepare and have everything arranged and ready to avoid any headaches! i want everything meticulously organized and prepared! in my leisure moments, i play a little, write a bit for the journal, and make changes here! i made some changes to the 2023 journal! now there's a welcome board and a link to the new 2024 journal ♡. i also made updates on the credits page, where i added that i have a pinterest folder exclusively for tools, layouts, etc. 🖋 i decorated the journal on the outside! it didn't turn out the way i wanted, but it still looks cute (to my eyes). i haven't been able to do anything inside because i don't have any ideas in mind, and i don't want to force myself and end up doing something without feeling. it's okay that i didn't start with the new year! i want to do it when i feel inspired, and i want it to be therapeutic, not stressful! ♡ 📚my sewing machine arrived!! i almost forgot to mention it here!!! it's so cute and small that it looks like a toy! i did my first sewing a few weeks after it arrived! i learned the order of threading, how to join them to finally start sewing! i still don't know the terms, so this sentence may have been confusing.. i learned to set it up for sewing!
in the photo, it doesn't look so small, but i swear it is! and to make it better, it's extremely good! it sews really well and comes with the pedal, the power supply, and also accepts batteries!! i'm extremely in love with it and only have compliments ♡ anyway, i'm very happy to see that little by little i'm discovering myself and being kinder to myself, prioritizing my well-being and mental health! i'm excited for this year and hope to record many things here! with love.. 🤍 ⇠ back to 2023..